the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize