in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
