I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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