Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize