My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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