I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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