after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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