I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
