just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Randomize
