The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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