it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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