This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
