Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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