yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
