ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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