You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
