Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
dude. I can hear the air.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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