im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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