Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
