this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
