and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
