He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
