Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
