grandma shit on top of the toilet
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize