ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
