when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
