This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
