All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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