How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
