you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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