I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
