you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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