if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I touched a dick in church today
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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