Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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