Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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