it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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