are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
