Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So many bounce houses so little time
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
