Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
