I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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