oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
