My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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