I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Please, let me fuck your mom
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
