he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
home. puking in laundry basket.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
