I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
