You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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