According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
