so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
