Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize