I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
