i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
