there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
