I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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