I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
