Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize