There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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