Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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