he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize