drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
