he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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