she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
